Where Am I?

Today, I suppose, is the only place to start. And today, like yesterday, I am asking myself some serious (though almost comical) big-picture questions: Where am I in my life? How did I get here? Where am I going? Since answering these questions in full detail in one post would likely amount to the longest blog entry in the history of the Internet, I think I'll focus on one key area: my work/career. My guess is that some folks might actually connect with some of the things I'm going through right now, and maybe writing down some of my current thoughts will help me as I make a critical transition in my life.

I turned 36 in July, about a month and a half after my wedding to the lovely KC. Last Halloween, as the American economy began to resemble the Titanic in its vertical stretch, my work as a residential construction project manager came to an end. My company, which designed and built high-end custom homes on the Westside of Los Angeles, lost about five of a potential six projects, and ultimately my boss (and good friend) made the right business decision to let me go. It was a blessing in some ways: I'm still not exactly sure how I got this far in a job that I never really liked, and I vowed to start asking some fundamental questions that would redirect me to a truly fulfilling job. It was also pretty sweet that I had no early morning alarm sounds the Monday following Halloween weekend. Double bonus.

At that time KC and I were living in West Hollywood and Santa Monica, respectively, but had already begun to discuss a move to Pasadena to be closer to her family (mom, dad, two sisters, brother, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, two nieces and nephew all live within one square mile). Again, the timing of the break seemed perfect, and KC and I started to make plans for a move to the San Gabriel Valley.

During the months of November and December I engaged in some superficial career counseling, mostly by way of the Idiot's Guide to Finding Your Perfect Career. Sadly, my lack of commitment to the process would only extend my confusion, and it would take another failed career attempt and six long months before I would resolutely embark on an in-depth career search. So although I made some initial strides toward answering those fundamental questions about what work might make me tick, I really only partially asked the right questions. I ended up stepping into the world of personal financial advising, found out fast that I lacked the passion for the work and the entrepreneurial drive needed to sustain it, and fell back into the unemployment line, wondering which steps had been the wrong steps (again). And while I insisted to myself that there is value in knowing what you don't want to do, a constant chattering in the back of my brain addressed the very real possibility that it would take 173 lifetimes to get through every job I didn't want to do before I discovered the one that I did. Ugh.

In my next post I'll discuss the very positive personal discovery process I've undertaken with my career counselor, a process that has required me to look inward and to ask the right questions. It has helped me greatly to understand my personality, my skills, my values, and my life goals. And while I have not yet begun to walk along the path I was born to walk, I can now see in the distance the cobblestones that line it.